Posts Tagged ‘life and cancer’

I just go with it.
January 5, 2014

TThere is a sense of freshness I see all around me each time I finish a chemo cycle.  I see things differently.  The air is fresher…cleaner.  It is as if it is the first time I see, smell, and taste things.

I think this come when you have to pay for the moment.  I had a rough rebound from my chemo.  I had chills, long sleepless nights, nose bleeds, vomits, and more vomits.  Yes, there was a moment that I though of giving up, I just held on.  But I got over that.  I even made to my gym Saturday for two classes: spinning and yoga.

Life is amazing.  In my case, literally, life is about ups and downs.  At my yoga class, my fellow yogi were surprise to see me and that I look clinically good.  You will not know I have cancer if you see me: That is their common comment.  I wish I did not have this cancer.  I live my life differently because of it.

I make the most of the time when I am off chemo.  I get impatient too when I am off chemo because I have limited time and I have things to take care of, or there are demands of me.  Big things to others but from my perspective they are non-life threatening or minor.  I just go with it.

My days, weeks, and months are planned around cancer.  Some plans pan out and some don’t.  I just go with it.

I have predictable good days and bad days, and I just go with it.

Tonight, however, will be truly delightful night: Season 4 of English drama, Downton Abbey, premiers tonight.  I think it is time to tea…just go with it.


P.S. Happy new year to everybody.  Next chemo is this Thursday, January 9.

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April 14, 2013


ast Thursday, April 11, I had my abdomen drained again of fluids.  They took out another 2.1 liters, that’s a total of 12.7 liters since February 1st.  I really must stop drinking water (joke).

Somebody had asked me once, how do they do they drain the fluids (or do the paracentesis)?  Well I tell ‘ya.  First, using an ultra scan they search my abdomen for pockets of water concentrated in one area.  In my case, they normally find this pocket below the belly button line and right of it, near the appendix area.

The doctor would then marks the spot, sterilize the area, and inject local anesthesia.  Once the area is numbed, a small incision is made and then a long needle is inserted to puncture the peritoneal cavity.  Once the cavity is accessed the end of the probe is attached to a vacuum pump which sucks the fluids into a container.

There’s nothing to do but keep still while the container gets filled.  Sometimes the doctor would ask you to move so the fluids would find the needle.  After it is done, there is relief and lightness from carrying that much extra fluids in the body.  Ahhh….


Suction pump and container for fluids

What is causing the build up still gives me concern.  My doctors are aware of my periodic fluid drains but I know they are more focused on my cancer treatments.  As long as the fluids does not indicate malignancy or show blood in the drainage, I am ok.

Last chemo.

Tuesday, April 16, will be my last chemo to complete the six-cycle regiment.  Completing this six cycle has been most challenging.  It is also the most stressful because of my allergic reaction to the chemo drug Oxalyplatin.  I wish I had a choice of not taking it but I don’t.  That’s one thing about living with cancer, your choices are limited.  I am use to it and have accepted that fact.  It has given me a different perspective in life and gave a full appreciation of what I have.

My laughter is fuller and each encounter with friends and family are more endearing.  I am grateful for the gifts of love, intelligence, and wisdom.  I will continue my journey ready to embrace all the challenges that come my way.  Just bring it on…


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