Posts Tagged ‘Ethan’

Judgment day version x.x

Judgment day version x.x
August 6, 2015

I lost count on how many CT scans I have done. All I know none of them were good except for one or two, which was several years ago.

Tomorrow’s scan is to verify if I am responding to my current clinical trial, which I have been taking for two months now. I use to be anxious on the eve of my scan but now I seem to be more at peace. The outcome of tomorrow’s scan is already pre-destined, meaning I cannot change it. Just like tomorrow; ready or not it will come.

I am ready. If the scan is good, I continue with treatment; if not, I look for another treatment.

No matter what the outcome is, I will celebrate tomorrow. Maybe take the day off and take my BFF Ethan to the water park. Soak up some rays and chill out floating around the lazy river. Yeah!



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Living in hope.
July 5, 2015

In the US it is the 4th of July weekend. There are parades, barbecues, fireworks, and holiday sale.

We celebrated our holiday by watching fireworks with Ethan, our grandson. It was his first fireworks so it was an experience for him, and for us. We thought he will be scared of the loud “booms” since we were close to feel them, but he enjoyed.

This weekend also marks one week since I have completed the first cycle of my chemo trials: The chemo come in pill form. I started last June 13, completed the two week cycle, and then two weeks off. I start the second cycle on July 13.

So far the side-effects have been limited to nausea, constipation, and tiredness. To keep active, I am limited to walking. Can’t run because I get tired easily.

With summertime here, I miss running at the lakefront. I equate summer to marathon training and it is such a beautiful feeling. You get to enjoy the cool lake breeze, the sun, and seeing other runners. I hope someday I will be able to do it again. Hope is what keeps me going.

With one cycle complete, I need to do another cycle (July 13), then a scan. It is during that time when faith and hope is going to be tested again. In the meantime, I will enjoy my summer and continue to live in hope.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July


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Ethan’s World.

Ethan’s World.

May 1, 2015

FFour years ago I was blessed with the arrival of my grandson, Ethan.  Back then while in agony of late night chemo rebound, I had asked God to make me live long to see my grandkids.  He took my moment of weakness seriously.  Ha!  I am glad he did.

Since then, I have been enjoying Ethan for the past four years.  He celebrated his birthday last Saturday, April 25.  He received a bike bike for his birthday so now he can’t wait to go home after school to ride.  He would don his Spider man helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, and gloves, and off he goes.  His world is protected, care-free, and innocent.

My boy

My favorite baby pic of E

Where has time gone?  Looking back I count: That’s four years with Ethan and seven years of living with cancer. You really have to make the most of the time given you because you will never now when the fun stops.

Each night, after taking a bath and in his pajamas, Ethan would come to our room to say good night.  He would enter our room sometimes prone like a frog then leap his way to our bed: Ribbit…Ribbit.  Or sometimes he enters as a cheetah roaring and trying to scare us: Roar!  He completes my day.


He is oblivious to the fact I have cancer: I am Ampa, his playmate, and nemesis at times.  I am thankful he came to my life.  His innocence makes me forget cancer and makes me look forward to tomorrow.  He gives me hope that somehow I will be leaving him something that is part of me, like the memories of our time together.


Big boy at 4 years old.

E-boy now 4 years old

“The only thing we take with us when we die is what we have given away…” – Archbishop Sartain of Seattle, WA.


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E’s World: It’s my birthday

April 24, 2013

Ethan with shadesIt’s my birthday tomorrow.  Woohoo.  I made it to two-years old with minor bruises.  It’s my birthday…it’s my birthday…it’s my birthday.  They are going to throw a party for me this weekend and I am all excited… because of the gifts.  Hehe.

It is all about the gifts, ya kno.  The party will be at Chuckee Cheese and you are all invited.  Just make sure you bring gift.  Ha!  My mom tells me I am growing fast.  I am not sure about that because she gets mad if I pee without telling her.  Freedom!

Ampa (my grandfather aka Bo) is doing fine and is getting strong.  I know, because he is able to keep up with me in my little trike.  He gets a kick out of it when I show him new tricks that I have learned; whether dancing to “Gangnam Style” or mimicking his action.  He is so easy to please.

Hey, have you notice the spread of baby ads in TV and the web.  There’s the Kia Space babies, eTrade babies, Pepsi Next babies, and lately Evian babies, which is the bomb.  Why can’t I get a gig like them, bro?  Maybe that’s why my party is going to be held at Chuckee Cheese!

Here is the latest viral video circulating.  Enjoy.


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E’s World: All roads lead to Chicago
February 6, 2013

20130207-202737.jpg“No Mack truck today, Ethan!” My mom called out. Lately, the house has been awfully busy with guests and visitors coming to visit. I thought they were coming for me but instead they came for my Ampa.

First was Lala’s college friends from Connecticut (Auntie Cecile) and Philadelphia (Auntie Tina). How we have become blood related, don’t ask me: It is complicated. Apparently, among Filipinos everybody is an aunt (“Tita” in Filipino) or uncle (“Tito”), you just don’t address them by their first name. No…No.

Then there is the ritual of kissing their hand which my Ampa imposes as a mandatory greeting of elders. Being the smallest you could imagine how many hands I have to “bless”, of course, I could throw a tantrum which always works. Boy, I am good.

There is Uncle PeterP and his family who came to visit, also. They are close family friends and they brought some of Ampa’s favorite food. Food and Filipinos are synonymous; there is always food around. There is so much foot traffic in the house that I am unable to drive my Mack truck.

For the this weekend, I hear more visitors are coming. There’s Auntie Ria and her husband Uncle Rene from Houston, TX. I hear Auntie Ria is Ampa’s college friend back in Manila and had insisted on visiting. Wait there’s more: the following weekend it will be Ampa’s sister and her family from Canada, and his brother coming in from Manila. Full house! I just hope they bring some goodies for me. Yes!

Friends and family are what makes you. They bring you love and strength when you need them. They are always there. I thank God I was born to this family. Moreover, I am glad my Gramps is with me.


PS: Ampa had his stomach drained again and they got two liters. Wow.

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E’s World: It is all about me.

December 30, 2012

O“Out of the way.  Beep…beep”  I hurl through the kitchen, made a right through the dining room, another right to the living room, and another right back to the kitchen.  This is my route or you might say my race track.

I run around the circuit pushing my little Mack truck I got as a gift on my first birthday.  Woohoo!  With its one wheel missing in the front, I whirl around the house, unmindful of the toes I run over.

 “Sorry, mom….oops, sorry Maggie the beagle.”  Ignoring the shouts of my mom, I continue with my ‘driving’.

My little place is getting small and it is getting harder to navigate.  There is this big tree whose roots seem to be growing and growing with boxes and wrapped items.  This tree suddenly sprank up right after Thanksgiving.  First it was empty now it is busting at the seams.  I think it might have to do with this Christmas thing.

My Lala (Grandma), mom, and aunt seems to flourish leading up to this Christmas.  They dragged me around in shops full of people carrying stuff.  All I wanted is to play with Mack truck.  But they tell me I am going to love Christmas.  At school, I even get to meet the boss of Christmas named Santa.  He wears a red suit and is huge.  I must be missing the point of this Christmas.

Santa and Me

Santa and Me

My family went to church on Christmas eve and the priest talked about the birth of Christ.  Huh?  How is he related to Santa?  I learned about Santa before Christ.  Santa gives me gifts, while Christ, I still have to understand.  Santa has many brothers and they are all fat and all seems to be wearing the same red suit. Celebrating Christmas is complicated but somehow it lifts the spirit of the people.  I understand it is about giving to others; for now, the only joy I can give is my love for my family.  Hopefully, when I grow up and understand all this I can give more.  I wrote my Ampa (Grampa) a note for this Christmas as part of our project at school.

“I will not remember you for the material things you provided but I will remember the feeling of being loved by my Ampa.  Love, Ethan.”  I signed it with my hand prints…cool, huh?”

I know it is all about me, for now….

Signed, Ethan

Signed, Ethan


P.S. My Ampa is recovering from his 5th chemo cycle and wishes everybody a Happy New Year!

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E’s World: It is all about the cookie.

E’s World: It is all about the cookie.

February 28, 2012

y ‘ampa allowed me to write to you again because he said there were many people asking for me. Wow. What’s the matter nothing better to do? So, wazzup? I got to get myself on Facebook for my fans.

So, I go to class also once a week at Gymboree. I hook up with my homey, Skyler, and some my friends. At class, we play, explore, and mainly hangout. Our teacher’s name is Ms. Megan and she lets me run around in class. I go wondering around then I get pulled-in by my mom.

Pay attention, Ethan!” Looks like I will be hearing this word for a long-time.

Got milk?

BTW, I love cookies. Once in a while I would get Oreo cookies from gramp’s cookie jar. I see him every night dunking the cookies in his soy milk. He says, that’s his recovery treats. To me, they are the bomb…and maybe along other treats.

‘Amps is doing fine if you are interested. He had a rough treatment last week. I can tell since he does not play with me and would just keep to himself listening to his iPod that is plugged to his chest.

Hello. There’s no music ‘Ampa, maybe you need to change battery.” Whatever.

I don’t have much happening lately but I am glad you are also out there cheering for me. Tough being a kid without cellphone, you know. That’s it from E’s world. I leave you with this message from another cookie-friend of mine, Fortune. He says: Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood.

Dude, Fortune. That is so kong hey fat choy (Happy New Year), dude.


Me at school

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My name is Ethan.

February 12, 2012

Hi, my name is Ethan and I am 9-months old. My grampa is recovering from his recent treatment (February 7, Round 7), and can’t write to you, instead I am here for him. I have been telling ‘ampa (that’s what I call him) to let write me but sometimes he does not listen.  While he sleeps now is my chance.

He also calls me his BFF (best friends forever, doh?). Anyway, he has invited his other friends to write for him, so I thought why not crash his party. We are after all BFF, right? Maybe I should turn this blog to Ethan’s World, Waddling Tales is so lame. I am cute, naughty, and more interesting.  Hmmm…maybe a reality show too. Go E!

Let me tell ‘ya, since I came to his life I have turned his world upside down. I just smile and he jumps for joy. So lame, ‘ampa. Oh by the way, it’s not funny when you fart, ok. Anyway, one weekend, gramps went swimming with me in my aqua baby class instead of going to his yoga class. I think he went there to check out the moms. They are not bad but my mom looks better, but oh my, those other babies in class, they can swim in my private “pool”. I can let them play with my rubber duckies…hehe. E in the house.

I can see he enjoys swimming there with me. I am proud of him too. He is the only in my class that has a ‘tatoo’ that runs across his stomach to his right liver. Ha!  Take that, you wuzzy dads. Plus, get this. He has a transformer button in his chest that plugs in to his iPod he says. How cool is that!

I have started walking now. I am able to explore more, topple things over, and sometimes I get stuck in hard places. Gramps just lets me rule his house. I know he enjoys my company and we would sometime sleep together. I just wish he stops snoring. He is in a bad mood when he is connected to his iPod. He does not play with me when he is connected but once he is unplugged, he gives me all the attention I need. (Sigh). I complete him. I am the ‘E’ in his ‘LIFE’.

Like he always say, lif-E is good. I guess he thinks of me that way. Love you, ‘amps.

I don't think he can fit here...

P.S. I want to give a shout-out to ‘ampa‘s buddy, ChrisL. Dude, the NY cheese cake you sent is “money”.  ‘Ampa  has not tasted it yet since he is constantly puking…yuck.  You da man, dude.  You on FB?

Happy Valentine’s to my mom…and to everybody.

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