Archive for January, 2014

Sayings we live by.

Sayings we live by.
January 25, 2014

Have you notice all the sayings or beliefs we live by consciously and unconsciously.  Some of them borders on superstitions or myths.  Growing up in the Philippines I remember many of them, for example:

Nasa Diyos awa, nasa tao ang gawa (God is merciful, but man still has to do the work).

Kung may tiyaga, may nilaga (If you have patience, you will will be rewarded).

It sounds better in the vernacular because it rhymes.  These are a few of the sayings I grew up with.  I normally hear these things from elders who wishes to drive home a point to my stubborn head.  There are some truths to them.

Marathon runners have a few of their own (that’s an understatement).

No pain no gain.

Pain is only temporary.

Needless to say, these sayings, mantras, or beliefs only matters if you believe in them.  If you don’t believe in them you will not be able to embrace the fundamental foundation of its teaching: You will not change, be patient, or endure the challenges.

You got to believe that there is a cure for cancer, as much as the sun will shine tomorrow. That’s a tough one.  In my case, my belief fluctuates no matter what I believe in.  It comes in cycle; it is strong when tested during chemo and weak when I am off.

Life always gets harder near the summit – Chinese fortune cookie.

I think you need every kind of motivation when you are down.  It is the ability to connect with yourself and you believe…(fill in the blank).

Songs make you connect, that’s why we love music.  Images and pictures (religious one’s included) connects us where we are at peace.  There is my grandson, Ethan, who always puts a smile in my face.  He makes me believe.  I know the place where I need to be when I am in doubt.  That place is here with you.  It makes me believe that:

“I can walk that mile, until the end starts.” – Adele 21, One and Only.


P.S.  Fourth cycle tomorrow and I am now bald again (see related post “The bald truth“).  Then there is this unforgettable date when I given a bad prognosis, January 25, 2013.  Believe me when I tell you the “bald” truth: I am grateful for the day, tomorrow, etc.

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I just go with it.
January 5, 2014

TThere is a sense of freshness I see all around me each time I finish a chemo cycle.  I see things differently.  The air is fresher…cleaner.  It is as if it is the first time I see, smell, and taste things.

I think this come when you have to pay for the moment.  I had a rough rebound from my chemo.  I had chills, long sleepless nights, nose bleeds, vomits, and more vomits.  Yes, there was a moment that I though of giving up, I just held on.  But I got over that.  I even made to my gym Saturday for two classes: spinning and yoga.

Life is amazing.  In my case, literally, life is about ups and downs.  At my yoga class, my fellow yogi were surprise to see me and that I look clinically good.  You will not know I have cancer if you see me: That is their common comment.  I wish I did not have this cancer.  I live my life differently because of it.

I make the most of the time when I am off chemo.  I get impatient too when I am off chemo because I have limited time and I have things to take care of, or there are demands of me.  Big things to others but from my perspective they are non-life threatening or minor.  I just go with it.

My days, weeks, and months are planned around cancer.  Some plans pan out and some don’t.  I just go with it.

I have predictable good days and bad days, and I just go with it.

Tonight, however, will be truly delightful night: Season 4 of English drama, Downton Abbey, premiers tonight.  I think it is time to tea…just go with it.


P.S. Happy new year to everybody.  Next chemo is this Thursday, January 9.

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