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Archive for February, 2012

E’s World: It is all about the cookie.


E’s World: It is all about the cookie.

February 28, 2012

y ‘ampa allowed me to write to you again because he said there were many people asking for me. Wow. What’s the matter nothing better to do? So, wazzup? I got to get myself on Facebook for my fans.

So, I go to class also once a week at Gymboree. I hook up with my homey, Skyler, and some my friends. At class, we play, explore, and mainly hangout. Our teacher’s name is Ms. Megan and she lets me run around in class. I go wondering around then I get pulled-in by my mom.

Pay attention, Ethan!” Looks like I will be hearing this word for a long-time.

Got milk?

BTW, I love cookies. Once in a while I would get Oreo cookies from gramp’s cookie jar. I see him every night dunking the cookies in his soy milk. He says, that’s his recovery treats. To me, they are the bomb…and maybe along other treats.

‘Amps is doing fine if you are interested. He had a rough treatment last week. I can tell since he does not play with me and would just keep to himself listening to his iPod that is plugged to his chest.

Hello. There’s no music ‘Ampa, maybe you need to change battery.” Whatever.

I don’t have much happening lately but I am glad you are also out there cheering for me. Tough being a kid without cellphone, you know. That’s it from E’s world. I leave you with this message from another cookie-friend of mine, Fortune. He says: Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood.

Dude, Fortune. That is so kong hey fat choy (Happy New Year), dude.

Peace.

Me at school

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My BFF.


My BFF.

February 20, 2012

o I see you met my BFF (aka my grandson Ethan). He is getting a lot of attention after that bandit posting he did. All is good. I may not be as cute as he is but I am sure you can see where he got his handsome genes.  😮

Since he came into my life, he gives me a different perspective of life: a more complete picture of it. He gives me new motivation to fight my cancer or bear the pain of treatments. He gives me hope that everything will be fine. And, he makes me do better as a husband, father, and grandfather.

Did you know that I was the one who cut his umbilical chord? So he and I have a bond. Maybe it is unfair to shower all this attention to their first grandchild, but I think most grandparents do that anyway. He has such a curious mind that I hope he keeps. Curiosity lets you discover new things.

For me, it is curiosity that motivates me to do ‘out-of-the-box’ things. In 2009, I was curious if I could run a marathon: I did. In 2010 when my cancer came back, I was curious if I could run a marathon after six-months of chemo and liver surgery: I did. For 2012, upping the ante, I am curious if I can do two marathons after six-months of chemo. Some people call my ‘craziness’ inspiring but to me I am just plain curious. You might also say I am glutton for pain.

I want to see how much I can tolerate pain. Meaningful pain, that is. I love it when the villain in the book I just recently read, 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami, said something when about to die “What use is pain if it has no meaning.” Bam! What a zen-like statement. I can stop running or stop going through my treatments too. Why go through the agony of it. But instead I chose pain, meaningful pain.  I do it to find out more about myself. You see the meaning of life is inside me and in all of us. It it there said my curious mind. I know it.

Now if I can just channel the curious mind of Ethan away from my laptop it will be all good…hehe.

Cheers.

P.S. Tomorrow is another round (8th cycle) of chemo for me. I share this day with a friend and colleague who was recently diagnose with breast cancer. She will be having her second chemo cycle tomorrow. Drip…drip…drip goes the infusion and we are off to our chemo dreamland.

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My name is Ethan.

February 12, 2012

Hi, my name is Ethan and I am 9-months old. My grampa is recovering from his recent treatment (February 7, Round 7), and can’t write to you, instead I am here for him. I have been telling ‘ampa (that’s what I call him) to let write me but sometimes he does not listen.  While he sleeps now is my chance.

He also calls me his BFF (best friends forever, doh?). Anyway, he has invited his other friends to write for him, so I thought why not crash his party. We are after all BFF, right? Maybe I should turn this blog to Ethan’s World, Waddling Tales is so lame. I am cute, naughty, and more interesting.  Hmmm…maybe a reality show too. Go E!

Let me tell ‘ya, since I came to his life I have turned his world upside down. I just smile and he jumps for joy. So lame, ‘ampa. Oh by the way, it’s not funny when you fart, ok. Anyway, one weekend, gramps went swimming with me in my aqua baby class instead of going to his yoga class. I think he went there to check out the moms. They are not bad but my mom looks better, but oh my, those other babies in class, they can swim in my private “pool”. I can let them play with my rubber duckies…hehe. E in the house.

I can see he enjoys swimming there with me. I am proud of him too. He is the only in my class that has a ‘tatoo’ that runs across his stomach to his right liver. Ha!  Take that, you wuzzy dads. Plus, get this. He has a transformer button in his chest that plugs in to his iPod he says. How cool is that!

I have started walking now. I am able to explore more, topple things over, and sometimes I get stuck in hard places. Gramps just lets me rule his house. I know he enjoys my company and we would sometime sleep together. I just wish he stops snoring. He is in a bad mood when he is connected to his iPod. He does not play with me when he is connected but once he is unplugged, he gives me all the attention I need. (Sigh). I complete him. I am the ‘E’ in his ‘LIFE’.

Like he always say, lif-E is good. I guess he thinks of me that way. Love you, ‘amps.

I don't think he can fit here...

P.S. I want to give a shout-out to ‘ampa‘s buddy, ChrisL. Dude, the NY cheese cake you sent is “money”.  ‘Ampa  has not tasted it yet since he is constantly puking…yuck.  You da man, dude.  You on FB?

Happy Valentine’s to my mom…and to everybody.

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PET scan results.

February 3, 2012

was on hold for a customer service call when the call came in. I was trying to distract myself and not think about the results of my PET scan. The caller id says it’s my hospital, Swedish Covenant.

(Click, I answered)

 “Hello, Bo. Dr. B from Swedish.”

The familiar warm voice of Dr. B greeted me. He has been good to me since I was first diagnosed with cancer. He is the head of the Interventional Radiology department and has gotten to know me well, and my case. I call him the Sheriff.

Hi, Dr. B.” I replied.

How are you?” He adds.

Hmm….I stop and think. Ok, doc stop messing with me. Either you have bad news to deliver that’s why you are asking or you are sincere about asking how I am.  I am on pins and needles, doc.

I talked to Dr. M (my ocologist) and we conferred regarding your scan results.  He said it is ok for me to call you regarding your results.”

Ok..ok. I love you,doc, but the anticipation is killing me.   Let’s get to the point…argh.

Your scan showed that the nodules are smaller when compared to your previous scan in July and October 2011. You are responding to your treatment.”

He continued reading me the details but my mind was already else where. YES!  YES! YES! Die suckers! Go back where you came from and leave me alone!  Cancer sucks!

Congratulations. By the way, you have an acute sinusitis in the right maxillary area . You might like to have antibiotics prescribed.”

That’s the least of my worry. Whew. I am so glad that my treatment is working. I know many people were praying for me for good results. We got it. Thank you. Now, all I need to do is complete the rest of my treatment. However, I have this nagging feeling that I need to do more just to get rid of this cancer and yet I am stumped and resigned to the fact that there is no cure for cancer. It just will be part of me just like the necrotic scars it will leave on my lungs.

Nonetheless, I will not let it steal my moment…our moment. Today, we celebrate. We have beaten done this cancer for now. Ah, life is so good.

Cheers.

P.S. I still could not believe the good news, so headed to the hospital to get a copy of the results.  There it is:

Stable multiple pulmonary metastases without new lesions or change in size when compared with prior PET CT from xx/xx/xxxx. Essentially, all of these lesions have dimished in size when compared with the postcontrast CT exam of the chest, abdoment, and pelvis dated xx/xx/xxxx.

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